A Slythery Prank
by Mortuis1
Summary: A/U drabble set after Not All Gold Glitters. Harry, Hermione, Ron, and Draco together prank Gilderoy Lockhart with a plot so neat that even if they get caught, they shouldn't get in trouble. Surely, the git deserves it... doesn't he? Draco's godfather, Snape, disagrees with Pavel and Minerva about punishment, and gets himself in trouble. Comic poetic justice.
1. Perfect Execution

**A Rather Festive Caribbean Dance**

"I won't! I ca-ca-ca-can't! I'm never going back through that d-d-d-oor again! They're trying to k-kill me! And they'll DO it, too. You ma-ma-mark my words!" stammered Lockhart, as he sat in his office atop his desk, curled in a fetal position hugging his knees and resuming the intent sucking of his thumb.

"Now, now, Professor..." Minerva crooned, rubbing slow circles between his shoulder blades, "I'm sure it's not as bad as all that. They're just a bit high spirited is all. And we'll soon get that sorted out," her gentle tones belied the fire in her eyes as she considered various means of 'sorting out' this situation. She was getting nowhere however, with calming him down, so decided to get some help.

Walking to the floo, she called to Professor Snape. "Professor?" she began, when he answered her summons interrupting his fourth year Potions class, "I apologize for interrupting you while teaching, but we have a bit of an emergency here in Professor Lockhart's office. Could you possibly join me?"

Lockhart was now shivering, and mumbling to himself. Minerva floo called to summon Poppy Pomfrey as well, in case he was in the throes of a seizure or cardiac episode of some sort. Both Snape and Pomfrey stepped through almost immediately.

Lockhart looked up in near panic as the newcomers brushed floo powder and soot from their robes. "What... what are THEY doing here? Are they part of it? I bet they are... they're part of the plot!"

Snape's brow furrowed as he readied an apt retort, until Minerva caught his eye with a disapproving shake of her head. He immediately censored his thoughts, and replied gently, "Gilderoy, we're part of no plot. We mean you no harm. We're here to help you. Now what's the matter?"

"THEM!" he pointed a shaky finger towards his classroom door. "THEY are the problem! They're monsters. They're demons. They're trying to kill me!" and his thumb promptly reentered his mouth.

"I see..." Snape's eyes narrowed as he glanced through the door to see the second year classes of Slytherin and Gryffindor houses sitting nervously and silently at their desks.

While this almost-a-conversation had been happening, Madame Pomfrey had scanned Lockhart from head to toe with her wand, and spoke gently. "Gilderoy? You are fine. Your pulse and blood pressure are a bit elevated, as is your respiration, but that's to be expected because you are having a panic attack. You are fine, but for levels of way too much adrenaline at the moment. I strongly recommend a Calming Draught and a nice lie down."

Snape pulled a vial of Calming Draft from his robes - he carried them with him nowadays, finding parenthood a condition requiring their frequent application - and tried to hand it to Lockhart.

"NO!" he jerked away from Pomfrey's gentle touch on his arm, and slapped Snape's hand, sending the potion flying into the stone wall to shatter into countless calm pieces. "No way! I'm not taking another potion in this place! Not another drop, dram, or crumb passes my lips here! How do I know you're not one of them? How do I know you're not going to poison me?"

"Lockhart! You ninny! Do you SERIOUSLY think we would want to poison you with a Calming Draught? If I wanted to poison you, there would be a thousand better ways just at our Dining Table! Now stop being such a baby, and take your medicine!" Snape bellowed, before realizing the classroom door was wide open with no silencing charm. He'd never had much patience for Lockhart at the best of times, and not only was he missing class time, but he could feel the beginnings of a painful throbbing headache.

Sensing that Gilderoy was becoming more agitated by the minute, Minerva thanked Professor Snape for his time and attention, and nodded with a clear cue that perhaps he could rejoin his class. Poppy just took Minerva aside for a moment and said that Lockhart was fine, he just needed to calm down a bit, and his current problems were far more mental than physical.

Minerva nodded, as Madame Pomfrey made her exit. She decided to make one more call.

 _"Professor Konstantyn?" she mind-spoke, again tracing calming circles on Gilderoy's back, as he rocked and sucked his thumb._

 _"Yes, Professor McGonagall," he replied instantly_ , concerned as to why she would use his formal address and interrupt in class time. His first concern was that Harry was hurt, but his instantaneous check on that showed all the children to be fine, anxious, and in the same place... the Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom.

 _"I apologize for interrupting your class, but could you join me in Gilderoy's office? I have a bit of a problem here, I think you could help."_

 _"I shall be right there," he answered_ , assigning his class to some reading and essay questions he left in fire letters above his desk, instructing that they leave their parchment answers there when class ended, if he did not return in time. "Consider this a practice examination," he told them, smiling at the groans as he entered his office and closed the door, blinking instantly into Lockhart's office.

"What's wrong, Professors?" Pavel asked, with his most gentle voice. He was not accustomed to seeing a Professor, or ANY adult for that matter, rocking on top of their desk sucking their thumb. He suppressed the urge simply to slap the man up side the head - remembering Patton in that moment, as Minerva patiently crooned to him as she would a frightened child.

"Gilderoy has had a bit of an episode, but can't seem to tell us specifically what happened. He is very afraid, believing his class is out to get him, and that perhaps even we faculty may be 'in on it' and trying to kill him," all this Minerva said aloud to Pavel.

"I see..." he replied in a soothing voice. _Then he mind-spoke to her, "Are you SERIOUS?" in a tone of absolute incredulity._

 _"I'm afraid so," she answered, trying unsuccessfully to keep any hint of humor out of her voice. "I have no idea what these little hooligans did this time, but they've frightened the daylights out of this poor man, and he's in a full blown panic attack. Here's what has happened so far..." and she opened her memory of the past few minutes to him. "I suspect... having seen you work a time or two... that you can address this most easily?"_

 _"Probably," Pavel answered, with a sigh. "Though I have very mixed emotions about this, as you know."_

 _"I know. We both agree that he's a blithering idiot. BUT he's faculty, and we can't have our classes go around giving professors a nervous breakdown, no matter how much they may deserve it."_

 _"True enough. Ah well. Here we go."_

"Professor Lockhart, sir..." Pavel began, standing directly in front of the rocking teacher.

"Ummm hmmm?" Lockhart responded, not unhitching from his right thumb.

"Gilderoy..." Pavel smiled, comfortingly... "I vant you to look into my eyes, deeply and calmly, and focus on your own breathing for a moment. Breathe with me... in... out... in... out... Feel your breathing, feel your chest expand and take in the air through your nose, and then blow it out through your mouth. Focus on nothing else but your breathing." And Pavel began to give a cadence for his breaths, and Gilderoy began to comply, slowing his respiratory rhythm back to a calm normal.

"Good! Wery good, Gilderoy. Now, I'd like you to stretch please. As if you were yawning with a big stretch! If you vant to curl up again afterwards, that's fine... but for right now, just give me a huge stretch. Try to yawn if you can..." and again, Gilderoy complied, but after stretching he just sat on the edge of his desk, rather than curling back up.

"Vonderful! Wery good, Gilderoy. Now, I'd like to help you feel calmer, but I understand you have concerns. Think about me... just me right now... have you any concerns trusting me?"

"You? No... you're a strict teacher. You don't let the monsters nibble at you. I can trust you," the man nodded in a rather childish nonsensical way.

"All right then, have I your permission to help you feel better and calmer?" Pavel asked clearly.

"Yes, OK. Go ahead."

Pavel placed his hands on either side of Gilderoy's skull and began humming almost tunelessly as both of them closed their eyes and Pavel's hands began to glow. It took less than a minute for Pavel to drain Gilderoy of his anxiety and fear, and suffuse him instead with a sense of comfort and safety. While 'trust' is indeed a decision, and not a feeling, there is a deep feeling of safety and security that is fundamental to the decision to trust, and Pavel loaded that emotion up to Gilderoy's maximum for the moment. It took a great deal of reassurance before that filling even began to register. Clearly, Gilderoy is a deeply insecure man... but that's not what he was doing here at the moment. One thing at a time.

Letting go and backing up a pace, Pavel asked, "There, Gilderoy, feeling better, are we?"

Lockhart's eyes opened, he'd dropped his thumb about halfway through Pavel's intervention, and again flashing his "award winning smile", he bounced to his feet, saying, "Oh my yes, Professor. I feel simply MARVELOUS! I could take on a Basilisk now!"

 _"Really," Minerva mind-spoke. "We could arrange that, you know."_

 _"Minerva!" Pavel chided, smiling. "Don't be catty!"_

 _"Pshhh!"_

"Vell, good, Gilderoy. Vot happened, if you don't mind my asking?" Pavel tried to get to the bottom of this in his mildest voice.

"Ah, well, that..." Gilderoy's face again took on an anxious look... "It was nothing really! Just a slight misunderstanding between me and the class. Nothing for either of you to worry about. I'll just go... erm... dismiss them, shall I?" and he sidled away from them, too embarrassed to admit that he'd been unmanned by a bunch of 12 year olds calling his bluff.

"Minerva? There's something fishy going on here, and I'm going to get to the bottom of it one way or another."

McGonagall matched his calculating look as she nodded, "I couldn't agree more, Pavel. I couldn't agree more."


	2. Damage Control

**Damage Control**

 _"John!" Harry mind-spoke. "You out there somewhere, Big Brother?"_

 _"Sure, Harry," he answered instantly. "What's up?"_

 _"Got a minute for a quick hypothetical?" Harry queried, in a bit of a strained voice._

 _"Which kind?" John replied, detecting the tone._

 _"Damage Control I'm afraid," Harry specified, indicating that this hypothetical would refer to an act already committed, rather than a "Risk Assessment" hypothetical that referred to a plot not yet executed._

 _"Ah, I see. Do I need to be sitting down to hear this?" John sighed._

 _"Erm, it might be a good idea..." Harry didn't quite whine._

 _"Right. Give me just a moment." as he checked that all his charges were safe and behaving, that Madame Hooch was attending to the class, and he could signal her that he would step away for a bit. When she nodded, he sailed his broom around behind the Field House to sit comfortably in the grass while he and Harry talked. "All right, what's the matter?"_

 _"John, first of all let me state, I've broken no rules at all... neither Hogwarts, nor family."_

 _"Uh... huh. Why does that fill me more with a sense of foreboding, than one of confidence?"_

 _"Well... you see... it was a brilliant plan. Absolutely perfect... flawless... but, um... it sort of worked better than we anticipated. And McGonagall was called. Then Snape was called. Then Pomfrey was called. Then PAPA was called. And... um... well, I think I might be in a bit of hot water."_

 _"I see. Judging from the response you've gotten, I suspect you're right. Now what in the world are we talking about?"_

 _ *** Long pause *** "Um, John... you don't have to tell Papa what I tell you, right?"_

 _"Harry, we've been over this. No, you can discuss anything you want to with me, as long as it does not jeopardize your safety. Anything that carries unjustified risk is not safe from my disclosure. Anything else, is."_

 _"OK, well, remember that muggle movie we all watched last Sunday? The one Papa likes about Sherlock Holmes being such a dolt, and Watson being the one with all the brains?_ ** _Without a Clue_** _?"_

 _"Yes... I like it, too."_

 _"Yeah, well we really enjoyed it a lot, and... well... it kept reminding us of Lockhart. That he's such a braggart and an idiot, right?"_

 _"OK, I'm listening... but I'm getting a really bad feeling about this..."_

 _"Well, yeah, um... the movie gave me an idea, and so we talked it over, and... um... well, today we did it. And it worked out perfectly, except at the very end."_

 _"What do you mean, 'perfectly, except at the very end'... ?"_

 _"Well, we kind of expected him to freak out a bit, you know? But... um... we didn't expect him to go REALLY mental. He lost it in what I think they called a 'Panic Attack', and he wet himself here in the classroom, and then ran into his office, and all we could hear for a few minutes was him crying and shrieking. So Hermione went to get Professor McGonagall, and when they opened the door he was huddled on top of his desk with his thumb in his mouth, rocking. McGonagall took it from there..."_

John closed his eyes sitting there, and held his silence for a long few moments. Then he motioned as though washing his face with his hands as he said, _"Harry? Let me get this straight. You've pulled a prank on Professor Lockhart, in class, that so terrified him he was unmanned, and regressed to infancy in his office? And had to get faculty to fix the situation, which had escalated to where Papa had to heal him?"_

 _"Um... it sounds so much worse when you say it that way. I don't THINK that's what we did. But, um... yeah, that's how it turned out. You can do that 'mind-read-memory' thing like Papa and Oxsana, right?"_

 _"Yes, Harry, especially if you volunteer a memory to me, I can see it through your eyes as if in a penseive."_

 _"OK, well, as to the aftermath... here. Here's what happened, and how Papa got involved."_

And Harry opened the scene to John allowing him to hear, and apply his "above average hearing acuity" to hear even the whispers that Harry had not caught. His heart sank as he listened in. Not that he had the slightest respect for Lockhart, but he wasn't altogether heartless. The man had been terrified back into his own childhood. For a professor to wet their pants in the front of a class... The other part of John's grief was the realization that if Harry or the children were responsible for this, and that came to accountability... it was hard to say who would get "first dibs" between Aunt Minerva, Severus, or Papa... but one way or the other, it would not end well for his siblings.

 _"Wow, Harry. That went beyond horribly wrong..."_

 _"Yes, I know..." Harry muttered, miserably. "Um, am I correct in assuming Papa's a bit, um... upset?"_

 _"Oh yes. That was upsetting to everyone there. Now, for the million pound question... Harry, what exactly did you DO?"_

 _"OK, but you guarantee, unless it's a safety thing, this is private, right?"_

 _"Yes, Harry, I'll divulge nothing, and Papa won't read a thing from me on this. That's one of my 'skilz'."_

 _"OK, here's what happened..." And Harry revealed to John the memory of everything that happened from the time they entered the classroom until Lockhart wet himself and went screaming into his office and slammed the door._

John just absorbed all the information, and watched the ten minutes or so of disaster, seeing and hearing everything. John watched this all unfold in a curious mixture of horror, fear, and overwhelming admiration. The prank indeed was, as Harry said, both brilliant and perfect. What's more, the plan had been so well thought out that Harry, Hermione, and Draco - who was now firmly bonded into this band of delinquents - neither broke any rules, nor did anything forbidden. Well, if one didn't think of "driving a professor around the twist" a forbidden act.

John didn't know whether to laugh or cry. _"Well, I have to agree with all that you said, Harry. It was perfectly planned and perfectly executed. I don't know what to say. What are you asking me, exactly?"_

 _"Well, what do I do now? And, what's going to happen if Papa finds out about this?"_

 _"Let me answer your second question first... I don't know. I can never tell you what Papa will do, for sure, when you're in trouble. Is he angry? Yes. But as you pointed out, you haven't 'technically' done anything wrong. I'm not even sure that he would, or could, do anything directly if he knew. Would he WANT to? Heck yeah. But, WOULD he? I don't know._

 _"Now, as to your first question, what to do... That's altogether up to you. A general principle is, if you're in trouble, and you know you're in trouble, and Papa's going to be involved... you're always best advised to get to him first. Another general principle is, follow your conscience. If you feel you did wrong, you're going to radiate that feeling and Papa will pick up on it every single time. Whether he acts on what he picks up, I don't know. He generally tries not to._

 _"You ok, Little Brother?"_

 _"I guess. I'm just... well... terrified."_

 _John chuckled, "No fear, brother mine. No matter what, we will all live through this together. Papa never kills students, nor allows others to kill them on his watch. He says there's far too much paperwork involved. And if it's any help at all... that was positively brilliant. Especially the elements you inserted to protect you all. Did you exchange promises not to tell on one another?_

 _"Yes, yes we did. We did that as we were leaving, after hearing how this blew up."_

 _"OK, then remember, if Papa directly asks you about this, DON'T LIE. BUT, if he asks about others, you can rightly say, 'Sir, I respectfully decline to answer, in order to honor having given my word.' It won't keep Papa from dealing with you on your actions, but it will immunize you from any 'obedience' issues in declining to answer."_

 _"Thanks, John. Sheesh, I don't know what to do now."_

 _"Well," John laughed, "I think, being Thursday, you finish your classes, then go do your homework at the dining table."_

 _"And if Papa comes and sits down?"_

 _"Well, Harry... prayer may not go amiss."_

 _"That's not funny, John."_

 _"See you later," John said, as he thought "yes, yes it is," as he himself said a quick prayer for Harry, Hermione, and Draco, remounted his broom and got back to his work._


	3. The Prank

**The Prank**

After watching _Without a Clue_ on Saturday evening, then planning and plotting that night, then preparing Sunday, including Draco acquiring and programming a Musicube with the appropriate song recording, and Harry spending a considerable time in the Library studying South American Fauna in the most recent issue of _Magical Creatures and Their Care_ , they knew all was in readiness. Thursday, the balloon would go up.

 **It was Zero Hour**

 **The Time:** 3:00 p.m.

 **The Place:** Defense Against the Dark Arts Classroom, Hogwarts

 **The Victim:** Professor Gilderoy Lockart

 **The Actors:** Harry Potter, Hermione Granger, Draco Malfoy, and (if needed) Ronald Weasley

 **The Action:**

Harry opened his text, one of the innumerable tomes of the Great Gilderoy Lockhart, to a chapter that described our heroic professor's intrepid capture of a Cthulian Mamba, familiar to an Amazonian Yuan-Ti.

"Professor?" Harry raised his hand to Professor Lockhart.

"Yes, Harry, what is it, heh heh?" as Lockhart flashed again, his award-winning smile.

"I have a question about your capture of that Yuan-Ti's familiar, that Cthulian Mambo."

"Ah, yes, Harry... How well I remember... The steaming jungle, the biting flies, the horrid Yuan-Ti and their savage rituals... Yes..." his eyes stared vacantly out into space for a moment, as he admired his own self-image. "Anyway, yes... well, what is your question?"

"Well, sir..." and he and Draco drew their wands, "may we have permission to cast spells a moment, sir?"

"Yes, of course, Harry. As long as I am in this room, you have nothing to fear. Carry on."

"Thank you, sir," and Harry looked at Draco, who summoned a Medium sized potion vial and handed it to Harry. "Now in your report, sir, you said you used a bottle about that size..." and he indicated the potion bottle he'd laid down on a desktop, "and I'm dying to know what technique you used to do that..." and Harry began to focus intensely on the imago in his mind's eye... "to contain THIS!" as almost unheard, yet clearly articulated, he waved his wand as he said, _"Serpensorcia!"_

Instantly, a 14 foot long Cthulian Mamba materialized from his wand tip, directly before him. He spoke to the snake immediately, in friendly Parseltongue, welcoming him - a male, as it turned out - to their classroom, and saying he wanted them to have fun. He was not to harm nor bite anyone, and follow Harry's instructions. Getting the snake's cordial agreement, Harry had the snake rise to nearly the classroom ceiling, as he turned cheerfully towards the Professor.

By this time, every student in the room, but for the four of the family, had leapt from their desks and backed far away from Harry and the action at the front of the room.

"Oh, he's friendly all, don't be concerned. But, Professor, I'd like to see the spell you used to put this big a snake into that small a bottle. Perhaps you could show us... Oh, and he really likes you. Let him give you a smile," and Harry called out to the snake, "Hey, Mambo! Give us a smile, then?" and he spoke the request in Parseltongue, causing the lovely jungle green scaled snake, with his brilliant yellow belly, to tower over Lockhart and open his mouth wide in all he could know to be a "smile".

"By the way, Harry... that's a Mam-BA, not Mam-bo..." Hermione pointed out, allowing a brief pause after correcting him.

Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Draco held their breath as their fondest wishes were fulfilled. Lockhart, never wavering from his fixed stare at the serpent, processed Hermione's interjection and, struck with its situational absurdity, said, "Mam-BA, Mam-BO, who cares? What's the difference?"

PERFECT! Their hearts leapt. If Lockhart hadn't said it, that was Ron's part, to ask the same exact thing... which allowed Hermione to say...

"A Cthulian Mam-ba is a deadly supernatural venomous snake. A Mam-BO is a rather colorful Caribbean dance."

Which prompted Draco to tap the top of his Musicube, which he'd unpacked with his class materials, upon which signal the Cube began to play, at an incredibly high volume... _"Mambo Italiano"_ , sung by Dean Martin. ** _*[See A/N Below]_**

The beat and tune were catchy, as the dance music echoed through the room...

 _"Hey Mambo, Mambo Italiano - Hey hey mambo, mambo Italiano - Go go go, you mixed up Siciliano - All you Calabrese do the mambo like-a crazy with the - Hey mambo, don't wanna tarantella - Hey mambo, no more mozzarella..."_ and so on.

Between the beat, tune, fun vocalization... the four ringleaders started to dance at the front of the room, as Harry had the snake turn back around and join them in dancing - as the serpent bounced from side to side in time with the beat - even while he coiled his tail so that his body circled around Lockhart and cut off any hope of escape through the office door behind him. In no time at all, the rest of the class, seeing that the snake was clearly friendly and under control, along with the snake and their classmates dancing, decided to step back to the middle of the classroom and started dancing, too.

Harry had no idea if any of them were actually doing the "Mambo", but he knew they at least were all having fun. Well, almost all... And then he saw it, the dark stain at the top of Lockhart's pants leg that grew downwards, ultimately ending in a puddle under his extremely expensive boots.

Realizing this had gone far enough, Harry led the snake to follow as he walked to the center of the room, allowing Lockhart clear access to his Office Door. It took only seconds for the terrified professor to dash into his sanctum of safety, and begin screaming.

Harry cast a quick " _Scourgify!"_ spell to clean up the mess, and a glance at Draco saw him turning down the volume to nil, so he could return the cube to his bookbag. Everyone could now hear the screaming, and thought it might be best to sit down. Harry thanked the snake for coming to play with them, bowed to him, then banished him back to his jungle home. With the classroom now returned to utter normality, and the screaming continuing, Hermione decided to go to Professor McGonagall for help, and the rest, as they say... is history.

Harry just sat there, thinking this hadn't quite gone the way he'd planned. Of course, the Plan had gone perfectly. I mean, Lockhart had even asked the cue question himself, saving Ron from having to do it. But still... And Draco was brilliant. Professor Snape had started Godfathering Draco early last term, and after a couple months of "enforced non-aggression" between the two of them, long about the Christmas hols, he and Draco had found they had much more in common than they thought, and they had a lot more fun conspiring on things together to prank others, than they did targeting one another, and getting in trouble for it. He was really good at plots, and absolutely unflappable under pressure.

The February half-term holidays were coming up just next week, and Papa had invited Snape and Draco, along with Ron and Hermione, to come to the Chalet - his name for their ski-lodge type home - for some skiing and general relaxation. They had all accepted and were going to spend the first four days in their own homes, and then come to stay at the Konstantyn's until it was time to return to school. Harry could barely contain his excitement, and now... with this... he found himself extremely worried.

* * *

 _ ***A/N To hear the dance music, go to YouTube, search "Dean Martin Mambo Italiano", and enjoy!**_

 **A/N:** _This idea, this particular plot bunny, just hit me driving last night, and I couldn't walk away from it, or even wait to fit in into the next proper installment of the Konstantyn Chronicles. So for those who enjoy this motley crew as much as I do, what do you think happens now? Grace to you, Gentle Reader... Mort_


	4. Peer Pressure

The silence was deafening. Only the skittery sound of quills scritching across parchment relieved the pressure of the silence. Harry would swear everyone could hear his heart beating so loudly it should vibrate the table, as Pavel and the children sat there for Thursday's Homework Hour.

Harry was determined not to give away his feelings as he tried to focus intensely on the Potions essay before him. When the stress felt overwhelming, he would pour some tea or munch on one of the biscuits or little sandwiches on the tray in the middle of the table. While it was perfectly acceptable to speak together at the table, especially if the assignment was one they all shared, Ron, Hermione, Draco, and he hadn't exchanged a single word, nor even looked at one another.

Pavel smiled to himself, refusing to give them any help unburdening their souls. Quietly, he simply continued to grade essays and talley scores on his spreadsheets. As 5:00 approached, he sat back and stretched, pouring a fresh cup of tea and prepared to stack his materials on the Study desk, as he discretely observed all four children.

Clearing his throat, he announced, "All right, family. If you're finished, that's enough work for today. Playtime now." He waited while Hermione and Draco finished the paragraphs they were working on, as Ron and Harry happily slammed their books shut, bringing a cleared throat from Pavel.

"Sorry, Papa," Harry muttered.

"Yeah, sorry sir." Ron echoed.

"That's all right, boys. I take it there was some excitement in Defense Against the Dark Arts Class today, eh?" His voice was completely non-committal as he asked this apparently innocent question.

At this, the four of them looked nervously at one another, trying to decide who would speak.

Draco volunteered first. "Yes, sir. Professor Lockhart was going to show us how he performed one of the exploits in his book, but it... erm... didn't work out so well."

"Really? How interesting. What was he trying to demonstrate?"

Hermione decided to take a crack at conversation. "Putting a snake in a bottle, sir."

"I see. Well, certainly one with so adventurous a reputation as Professor Lockhart, shouldn't find that all that difficult, should he? How would you do it, Ron?"

"Me, sir?" Ron jumped as if stung. Pavel smiled and nodded. "How would I put a big snake in a little bottle?" Pavel nodded again. "Um..." Ron thought a moment... "I would shrink the snake, like we shrink things shopping, then immobilize it, and put the bottle over the top, and secure the bottle with something breathable."

"Well plotted, Ron. Five points to Gryffindor. Now... what went wrong? I found the Professor in what I think you would call 'a right state'."

Harry sighed as he looked up. "He froze, sir. Fight-Flight-or Freeze. He froze. He got really afraid, then couldn't think what to do. He just stood there."

"Hmmm. That sounds strange. Why would he freeze in his own demonstration? How big was the snake, and what variety?"

"It was a Cuthulian Mamba, like the one he claims to have captured in Chapter 8 of _Magical Me_. It was about... probably 15 feet, more or less. Eight or ten inch girth," Harry reported.

"Venomous, I presume?"

"Yes, sir. Quite."

"Well why in the world would he summon it, if he didn't think he could handle it?" Pavel asked, sipping his tea.

"Well... sir... um..." Harry muttered.

"Was there an actual sentence in there, implying communication, Harry?" Pavel chuckled.

"Um... may I see you alone in the Study, sir?" Harry asked, taking a deep breath.

"Of course. Go put your things away first. Change your clothes if you like. I shall wait for you there," Pavel said, picking up his materials and teacup as he walked into the Study and closed the door behind him.

As soon as the door closed, Ron grabbed Harry's arm, "Harry! Whatcher doin', mate?"

"I'm going to tell him what happened and that I did it. There's no point trying to hide it. He was THERE at the end, and the entire class saw the whole thing. Anyone there can tell him, or Snape, or McGonagall exactly what happened. I don't know if I'll get in trouble, but if so I'm a lot better off talking to him first than him getting the story from someone else. And there's no point anyone else getting in trouble over this, I'M the one that conjured the snake and controlled it."

"Don't rub it in, Potter," Draco laughed. "We all deserve as much credit as you do for this brilliant prank. It's just luck that made you the one that speaks Parseltongue. I taught you Serpensorcia, don't forget!"

"Yes, Harry. This was all of us, for better or worse. No WAY you're taking all the blame... or the credit!" Hermione added, with a chuckle.

"Guys, I really wanted to do this alone. I don't know if he'll be mad or not. And I don't know what consequences may be involved. I'd rather we didn't all wind up in the soup without knowing what the stakes are." Harry said, as everyone followed him into his room as he put his school things away properly in his desk. "Now bugger off a minute, so I can change clothes."

"OK, tell you what, Harry. We'll go home and change, too, while you go ahead and talk with the Professor. But we'll be right back, and when we get back, and the door opens, we're going to claim equal credit or blame, whatever. OK with you?" Draco negotiated.

"All right then," Harry smiled in acquiescence. "Yer all bloody idiots, you know!"

"Of course we are, but a perfect prank is a perfect prank. I'll not see you get all the credit!" Draco taunted, as he headed out the door towards Slytherin tower. Ron and Hermione followed his lead, heading towards Gryffindor, as Harry closed the door to change, electing to wear his heaviest pair of jeans... just in case.

"Enter!" Pavel barked, to Harry's hesitant knock. The old man suppressed his smile, as Harry's choice of attire was not lost on him in the least. _"Good, he's unsure how this will go, but he's brave enough to do it this way!" Pavel thought to himself._ "So, my son, what did you want to tell me, and why have you chosen here for this discussion?" He did not invite Harry to sit, and the boy made no effort to do so.

"Papa, I am responsible for what happened today. In short, I summoned the snake, managed him with Parseltongue, frightened Professor Lockhart with him by ordering him to smile, and played the "Mambo/Mamba" prank you know from the movie we enjoyed. I got the snake and class to dance to some music we brought, and prevented the Professor from getting out through his office door. When he... well, when I knew how scared he was, I moved the snake clear and Professor Lockhart escaped. I straightened everything out after that, and Hermione went to get help. The rest, you know."

"I see. You summoned the snake. Did you have permission to do so?"

"I asked permission to cast a spell, and it was granted. I did not specify the spell I was going to cast."

"Uh... huh. So, did you break any Hogwarts rules in this prank?"

"No, sir, not that I know of. The snake was venomous, but I had control all the time. And this was a creature our professor claimed he could manage handily on his own. I considered there to be no risk, especially as I could banish him at any time if necessary. Was the creature potentially dangerous? Yes, sir. But this was Defense Against the Dark Arts class, after all." Harry said all of this in a clear strong voice, looking straight ahead, standing tall.

"Did you break any family rules in this prank?"

"No, sir, not that I know of. I did not lie, cheat, steal, break my word, or defy any order. I did not place myself or anyone else at risk of harm. I did not dishonor this family, Gryffindor House, or Hogwarts."

"I notice you speak in first person throughout. Was this a prank of Soldarity, or no?"

Harry straightened to an actual position of attention, as he said, "Sir, I respectfully decline to answer on the grounds of having given my word, sir."

"I see. You've been speaking to Ivan," Pavel laughed. "Was Ivan involved in this in any way?"

"Sir, I respectful..."

Harry was cut off by Pavel's upraised hand. "Never mind, I can ask him later if I choose. He, of course, will probably not say, as he keeps your confidence unless it's a matter of safety."

"Very well then. Now, my son, why are we here? What do you vant?" and his eyes narrowed to focus on his boy.

"You asked what happened, sir. I wanted to tell you myself, in private. I was unsure if I would be in trouble, and if so, be here in case you felt a little chat was called for."

"Well, Harry. Do you feel you SHOULD be in trouble?"

"That's hard to say, sir. I know I didn't break any rules. So, in one sense, no, I shouldn't be in trouble. There was great care taken not to run afoul of authority. But, I do actually feel bad for how that all worked out. I didn't mean for the Professor to get as frightened as he did. I'm really glad you were able to fix him, and I know you did because when he came out to dismiss us he was perfectly back to normal. But from what Hermione said, and what we could hear, he was really messed up for a while."

"Do you feel that you should be punished?" Pavel asked, knowing that was the worst question any parent could ever ask any child. He waited while there was a long pause.

"Probably, sir. I'm not saying I WANT to be... but SHOULD I be?... Probably. I feel like I bullied him. He was so scared. And that just wasn't right. It sure wasn't what I meant to do at all. I just get so tired of his boasting, and wanted to take him down a peg or two. But not... not that..." Harry shook and lowered his head in what seemed to be his own self-disappointment.

"I see. Harry, go ahead and sit down, if you will."

Harry stepped out of his position of attention, relaxed a bit, and sat down to talk more comfortably.

"How have we defined 'terrorism' for our purposes in class? I realize there is no consensus definition, but how do we use it for our studies?"

"Terrorism is the use of violence, or threat of violence, on any population - though most typically non-combatants - in order to instill fear and uncertainty, to undermine any sense of safety and security, particularly on a homefront."

"Well done, my boy," Pavel smiled nodding. "Flash cards can be wonderful things, can they not? All right. I would submit that your action today may fall under that heading. It certainly describes the result. Professor Lockhart did not want to cross the threshold from his office to the classroom, because he'd lost all sense of safety with his class. The classroom had always been, as it always should be, a 'safe place'. Your prank threatened him so deeply with the possibility of violence, that he no longer felt it was safe there."

"Oh, maaannn..." Harry mused, looking at the floor. "That wasn't the point at all! That's just so wrong! I'm SO glad you were there to fix it. It'd be awful if he kept feeling that way."

"Here's another rather serious question, Harry. Did you think this through to the possibility that Professor Lockhart may overreact, and factor in my presence in case of emergency? Or was that not part of your planning?"

"I'll be honest, Papa. I never EVER thought his reaction would be like that. No, as much as I'd love to say I 'knew you could fix anything' - which I do, by the way," Harry looked up and laughed, "I really never thought of the possibility."

"All right, is there anything else you want to say? Anything we've not covered?"

"No, sir."

"Well, let me say this then. You came in here because you wanted to know if you're in trouble, and prepared to take responsibility for your actions. I believe you've spoken honestly and candidly, and you've offered no excuses or whining. All of that is very much to the good. I'm sure one of your concerns is whether I am angry about this. I am not, certainly not now. I could have been, especially this afternoon before I learned these circumstances.

"Are you in trouble, or should you be? I'm honestly not sure. As to possible consequences, I have no doubt your greatest fear is that you be grounded or restricted in some way that will inhibit our holiday next week, or our time with our guests. No, Harry. I don't see anything here that should interfere with our enjoying this time all together. I need to think about things before I speak further to this. We need to speak with the other children, and I need to consult with Professor McGonagall and Professor Snape before we finish with this, as I'm quite sure this was a matter of Solidarity. I'll not deal with you any differently than we handle all of you. So... for the moment, you are dismissed."

"I'm really sorry about what happened, Papa."

"I know you are, son. Don't fret now. We'll talk more after supper," Pavel said, as he stood up and walked with Harry to the door.

"Oh, Papa, I should probably tell you -" Harry got that far as Pavel turned the doorknob, swung the door open, to find Hermione, Ron, and Draco standing less than a meter away. "yeah, um, they wanted a word when we were finished."

"Ah, I see," Pavel laughed as he nodded. "All right, vell... shall we go get more comfortable first? Since ve're apparently not going to play, ve may as well sit down." He led the way to his favorite chair by the fireplace, refilling his teacup on the way.

"Well, sir, we just want you to know that Harry didn't do anything alone, today. All of us planned and executed the prank. We tried to be careful not to do anything we could get in trouble for, but we didn't expect things to turn out the way they did. Anyway, we're all in this together," Hermione gushed, speaking quickly so she didn't lose her nerve.

"I see," Pavel replied calmly. "Gentlemen? Anything you want to add?"

"Just that you not blame Harry, sir. We all worked on this, and we're just as responsible as he is," Ron volunteered.

"Yes, and it was bloody perfect! Came off like a charm. I'll accept as much credit, or blame, as Harry gets, sir." Draco said.

"I hear you all. Thank you. To put your minds at rest a bit, I'm not angry, Harry is not in trouble, nor are you. You conducted an excellent operation having made an excellent plan. The result was unexpected and unfortunate, so I'm not sure if there will or should be some response to that. I'm going to discuss these matters with Professors McGonagall and Snape over supper, and perhaps we'll all talk together afterwards. But I see no reason to fear anything spoiling our plans for next week, or any harsh response. Now, let's head to the Great Hall, shall we?"

* * *

Pavel had the opportunity, over their meal, to share all the information he had gleaned with Minerva, Severus, John, and even Albus. Albus only expressed concern that Gilderoy was recovered, and thanked Pavel profusely for having deflected a truly awkward situation. Gilderoy was seated at the High Table, and Pavel took a moment to walk over his way and ask how he was feeling. He affirmed feeling fine, and the meal went on normally.

The four principal faculty discussed the incident throughout the meal, under their shield of "inane conversation" so no one else overheard their content - except for John, of course. Quite uncharacteristically, John had made no comments at all throughout the entire affair.

"John? You seem amazingly quiet this evening," Minerva noted.

"Um hmm," John replied, taking a bite of his green beans with bacon bits.

"Have you anything to add to our deliberations, son?" Pavel was a bit more pointed.

"Sir, I decline to answer on the grounds..." he began...

"Nevermind, I understand..." Pavel interrupted with a laugh and upraised hand.

"I believe then, that we have come to consensus, have we not?" Pavel addressed the faculty to his left at the High Table.

"Indeed, sir," Snape laughed in reply. "We have cordially agreed to disagree."

"This should make for a very interesting discussion," Minerva mused, as they all returned to finishing their meals.

* * *

When the children returned from supper, they found the Konstantyn living room again converted as for Inquisition, and their teachers already seated in their places. Ron, Hermione, and Harry's blood ran a bit cold as they saw the four dining chairs set out in a straight row for them and Draco, and the three comfortable armchairs with side tables aligned opposite, already seating Pavel, McGonagall, and Snape.

"Oh, this can't be good..." Ron muttered, remembering all too well the last time he sat thus and got assigned a month long pre-dawn detention with Professor Snape.

"What's all this then?" asked Draco, in a low voice.

"This, my cousin, is a 'little chat', group participation style. Just stand in front of a chair and wait. You'll see," Harry suggested.

Pavel sat in the center, Snape to his left, and McGonagall to his right, as they all calmly sipped their coffee and tea, waiting for the children to orient themselves.

"Let me explain, Draco. Together we are about to engage in an Inquiry, examining the circumstances of your class today, and any potential consequences that should result from your actions. Last term, the others had committed an offense against Professor Snape, and engaged in this exercise, resulting in rather substantial penalties for their actions. When potentially wrong behavior is conjoint on your part, and punitive response may be appropriate from some or all of us, then it just makes sense to deal with the situation in this fashion where all charges, defenses, and responses are discussed in a single forum."

Severus looked at his godson, saying "Draco, I want to be sure we are fair to you. These three adhere to a principle they call 'Solidarity', whereby if they are all involved in an action or wrongdoing, regardless of differences of degree, they insist upon facing the same consequences. It is vaguely possible that their Gryffindor tendencies explain such a foolish attitude. Possibly, being a much more sensible Slytherin, you may prefer to divorce yourself, your actions, and your consequences, from these three trouble-magnets. Are you, or are you not, joined with them in Solidarity and equally responsible for this action?"

"Professor Snape?" Draco began, sensing that "formal" was the best mode of expression for the moment. "I am assuredly Slytherin. But I am, just as assuredly, a member of Solidarity. Rather than think that I am joining into any Gryffindor foolhardy brashness, I prefer to think I have improved the unit through insisting on our plans being comprehensive, cunning, clever, and exceedingly careful according to more Slytherin values. I will stand in defense of this prank, and my equal part in it, without hesitation, sir." Draco walked to the fourth chair, and bowed slightly to "the court".

John had entered during all this, and took the same seat he had occupied months before, out of the way.

"Ivan?" Pavel asked, as John stood in response, "Do you have anything to add or contribute to these proceedings?"

"No, sir, but to be a resource for the respondents - or are they defendants? - should they require advice during this inquiry."

"Werry vell then, shall we begin?" as the children sat down and everyone nodded. "First, perhaps it would be appropriate for us to see exactly what happened. For the moment we have only Harry's testimony."

"I can help with that, sir," John said, as Pavel's staff levitated to the center of the floor space between the chairs, and John drew his wand. He cast the memory he shared of the classroom event from Harry, so the Staff made the scene play out there in 3D miniature, as if all watched a stage play from balcony seats. The scene played out from the beginning of class until Hermione and McGonagall opened the office door.

Every adult in the room exerted considerable self-control not to smile or laugh, while the children were so close to fight or flight from their concern about being punished, they had no such temptation. No two ways about it, the conspiracy was perfectly executed, no rules broken, and even though there was backup, even the good fortune that Lockhart himself cued the trigger phrase for the prank. Pavel's eyes had momentarily closed in sympathy with the children, when Gilderoy articulated those deadly words... "What's the difference?" Showtime finished, John took his seat once more.

"I have one question of your plan and technique," Pavel began, garnering everyone's attention. "Did any of you force Professor Lockhart in speaking the trigger question? Did you influence or implant that intentionally?"

"No, sir. Not as far as we know. Of course, we were all hoping-praying-wishing that he would once we set it up, but I, for one, didn't cast anything to make it happen."

"No, nor I..." the denial echoed among all four of them.

"So, please tell us, briefly, whatever you would like us to know, before we deliberate," Pavel said, calmly.

Ron spoke on their behalf, "We just want to say that we meant no harm. Lockhart is just such a braggart and a blowhard, that we wanted to take him down a peg and call his bluff. We got permission for everything we did, and there was no danger, since Harry could control or dismiss the snake at any time. And when it went pear shaped, we stopped immediately. We're really sorry it went the way it did. We didn't mean for that to happen." And all the children nodded in contrite agreement.

"Is there anything else we want to ask?" Pavel looked at his colleagues.

"I only want to say," Snape began, in his low no-nonsense voice of warning, "that if ANY of you were to do any such thing in one of our classes, I can assure you, you'd likely not be able to sit for..."

Draco stood and interrupted, "Godfather, you know damn well that Lockhart is a complete buffoon. No way such a thing could happen in any of your classes, even if we did it... you can undo anything we cast instantly, and you all know what you're DOING in a classroom!"

Harry knew Draco had crossed a line here, so he stood to affirm, "Yes, sir. Lockhart is just such a prat!"

Ron stood, "Idiot!"

Hermione stood, struggling for words... "Yes, he leaves much to be desired."

Severus drew breath to respond, but stopped as Pavel raised a hand to take the floor... "Children, I don't think I even need to say it at this point, do I?" as he pointed to the corners. "We can deliberate just as well with you in corners as in Harry's room where I was about to dismiss you. Go!"

The children all walked to corners into which they set their noses, as Pavel flicked a Tempus over the fireplace counting down from 10:00 minutes. Once they were situated, he cast a silencing fog charm over each of them, so the grownups had privacy.

Finally relieved of their duty of adult responsibility and dignity, laughter broke out among them.

"Poor Gilderoy," Minerva shook her head.

"It's really hard to be stern when I agree with them so deeply and completely," Snape laughed.

"So, I take it none of us have heard anything that changes our position from supper time?" All nodded. "That's fine then, I think we can handle this just as we discussed. It is altogether appropriate for them to learn that authorities can disagree, and still present a united front as to their character and upbringing."

At which point Dobby popped in front of Pavel with a very downcast look.


	5. The Taming of the Dobby

_["So, I take it none of us have heard anything that changes our position from supper time?" All nodded. "That's fine then, I think we can handle this just as we discussed. It is altogether appropriate for them to learn that authorities can disagree, and still present a united front as to their character and upbringing."]_

At which point Dobby popped in front of Pavel with a very downcast look.

"Yes, Dobby?" Pavel asked gently.

"Bad thoughts, Master," Dobby murmured, with blushing droopy ears looking at the floor.

"Very well, Dobby. Thank you very much for telling me. Now, you know what to do..." as he pointed to Harry's corner.

"Yes, Master..." as he trudged to join Harry, his little nose in the corner as well.

This prompted extremely quizzical looks from his colleagues, as John managed to stifle his own laugh until Dobby had entered the "fog of silence".

Seeing the looks, Pavel said, "Since we have a 10 minute delay anyway, I may as well explain. You know how dearly Dobby loves and cares for Harry. However, he was in service to Lucius for all his life before coming here. Lucius treats his elves very badly, requiring the utmost compliance from them even in thought and word, and punishing them with extreme severity for any infraction. In fact, he would often brutalize them to vent his own frustrations or relieve his moods regardless of how well they complied. This went so far that he even required that they punish themselves if he were not there, and they were to be as severe as he would be in such a case.

"Well, when Dobby joined us, I had Wilfried, the Hogwarts elf who takes such good care of us, train Dobby on what it meant to be a Free Elf, how to serve at Hogwarts, and to make the adjustments to his new life. Well, a couple days after the first time I seriously punished Harry - the Basilisk episode - Wilfried came to me saying I needed to have a 'little chat' with Dobby... most probably in my Study. This intrigued, and even worried, me just a bit, but I agreed and asked that he send him up.

"When the poor little fellow limped in I was utterly shocked. His hands were severely burned, his head covered with lumps and bruises, and he had a black eye. I immediately got up, scooped the little fellow onto the couch, and called for Ivan so we could heal him. All the time we were working, he did nothing but protest and try to fight us. I finally had to command him to be silent and still, and allow us to work. He obeyed, but wept all through.

"When we finished, he sprang to his feet and all I could feel from him was overwhelming guilt and shame. It was flooding off him. I had Ivan stay, and invited Dobby to sit down and tell me what was going on, and all the elf could do was weep in great wracking sobs. I handed him a kerchief, so he wouldn't blow his nose in his necktie, and realized I'd have to be a 'Stern Master" to get anywhere with him at the moment. So I sat in my chair, rolled it around to the side of the desk, and barked... "Dobby! Enough! Stop that crying, right now!

"It broke my heart to yell at him, but it worked as he calmed himself and stood there miserably. Finally he settled down enough to speak, and I asked what I most wanted to know... Who had so dreadfully beaten him? I was going to see to it that never happened again.

"Let me just show you..." and Pavel sent the memory to his Staff, still standing there.

 **The Scene in Pavel's Study:**

"Dobby had to be punished, sir." he said.

"Are you saying WILFRIED beat you, Dobby?"

"No, no, no... never Wilfried... he's so kind..." and he started to weep again...

"STOP THAT, Dobby. WHO punished you then?"

"Dobby had to punish himself, sir..."

"For what, Dobby? You've done nothing to deserve punishment. You're a very good elf. Now DON'T start crying again!"

"Dobby was mad at Master. Dobby did bad thing to Master. That's not what a good elf does. Dobby had to punish himself."

Pavel said, in a stern voice, "I see. Well, Dobby, time to 'fess up to Master. What bad thing did you do, and why did you do it?"

"Master's dinner Sunday, and last night? I kept out three of the six seasonings it should have, so it wouldn't taste as good as it should. Also, Wilfried put your favorite biscuits on the tea trays? And I took them off, putting Master Harry's favorites on there instead."

"I see," as they could see Pavel struggling not to smile. "And why did you do these wrong things to me?"

"Because Master made Harry Potter unhappy, sir!" and he looked up with near defiance in his eyes. "And I couldn't keep it from happening, but I thought... if Master is going to punish Harry Potter, then Dobby will punish Master! So I did!" and he crossed his little arms over his chest with a determined nod.

"I see. And the burns, bumps, and bruises, Dobby?"

"Oh, that. Well, you're my Master. It is not my place to punish you. That was very bad. So I had to punish myself."

"I see. You had to punish yourself because you did a 'bad thing' to me, and you felt and feel guilty and ashamed about it?"

Dobby nodded energetically.

"And you do this because this is what you've been taught you must do, when you were Master Lucius' house elf, yes?"

Dobby nodded again, this time looking down at the floor.

"Dobby, look at me and listen very well. Who is your master now?"

"You are, sir," he said, in low tones.

"So... who is it to tell you what you must, and must not, do anymore?"

"You, Master," he said again, in low tones.

"Dobby, you are now a Free Elf, in my employ. That means that while I do function as your Master, you are no longer magically impelled to obey me. You are capable of exercising your own free will, and resisting or disobeying me without punishment. However, because you are a good and honest elf, it is not in you to be false to me or to any of us. You are a good and obedient elf because you choose to be a good and obedient elf.

"If I give you a solemn command, will you obey it?"

"Oh, yes, Master. You are a good Master, Dobby is so sorry he was bad."

"Here is the command. You are never EVER to punish yourself again without my permission. You know quite well, that Master Harry was disciplined for disobedience when he went alone to meet the Basilisk, and then stepped forward to engage him when I made clear he should not.

"You love Master Harry enough to risk everything to protect him, as you proved at the beginning of this school year. You were even willing to hurt him, severely, to protect his life. Well I love him no less than you do. I will also do whatever is necessary, even make him unhappy or angry at me, to protect him and teach him not to risk his safety carelessly. He will meet unhappy consequences any and every time he needs to for his safety and protection. Isn't that what you want as well, Dobby? That Master Harry be safe and protected?"

"Oh, yes, Master."

"Then will you accept the fact that sometimes that will mean I must make him unhappy?"

"Yes, Master... but..."

"Yes, Dobby? But what?"

"But Dobby will still think bad things about Master, and that's bad..."

"All right," Pavel smiled and nodded. "I'll tell you what. Any time, and every time, you think bad thoughts about me... or if you get angry with me and do some 'bad thing' to punish me... then here is what you do.

"You are NOT to punish yourself without permission. You may go to Wilfried, and tell him what you did, and he will send you to me. Or you may come directly to me, and simply say either, 'Bad thoughts, Master', or 'Did bad thing, Master'. And then I, and I alone, will assign your punishment, is that clear?"

Dobby nodded with great joy.

"And I will tell you right now, what your punishment will be. For bad thoughts, you will stand in Harry's corner for ten minutes. For doing a bad thing, you will stand for fifteen. During that time, you will think about what you did, that it is wrong, and all the guilt and shame you feel. I will have set an alarm for when you are finished, and when that chime goes off your entire punishment is completed and you may be completely free of any guilt or shame. Is that clear?"

"Yes, Master," Dobby nodded, joyfully. "Perfectly clear, sir."

"Very well. Are you feeling guilty right now, Dobby?"

"A little, sir. Dobby thought LOTS of bad things about Master while Harry was grounded."

"All right, then..." and Pavel shifted to his judge-rendering-sentence voice, _"Dobby Free Elf, in service to me, for thinking bad things about me and my care of my son Harry, you will go stand in Harry's corner for precisely 10 minutes as punishment, which will be complete and finished, when the Tempus chimes. Is that clear?"_

"Yes, Master, perfectly clear," Dobby nodded, looking just a little bit chastened.

* * *

And the Diorama showed Dobby go to the corner in which he now stood, as the scene dissolved into the reality.

"Nicely done, Paul," Minerva complimented. "There's been no more injury, since then?"

"No, none. Though a time or two Dobby has come to me after serving his sentence, and said he still felt a bit guilty about something or other worse than normal. I just send him back for another ten minutes, and that's taken care of it. It takes time to reprogram an elf conditioned to absolute compliance with guilt and shame. Especially one with as kind a heart as Dobby."

At which moment the Tempus chimed, the fogs of silence dissipated, and everyone turned around to face their judgment.

* * *

"First things first, then," Pavel began, "Dobby, are we finished?"


	6. Verdict Rendered - Sentence Executed

_[At which moment the Tempus chimed, the fogs of silence dissipated, and everyone turned around to face their judgment.]_

* * *

"First things first, then," Pavel began, "Dobby, are we finished?"

Little elf ears bobbed up and down happily, "Yes, Master, Dobby is sorry."

"Dobby is forgiven then, and all is well. Now, as for the four of you. I pointed out to Harry earlier, that to my way of thinking, when you perform an act that makes an innocent afraid, that undermines their sense of safety and security in what should be a safe space, you commit terrorism.

"If I were sitting on the Bench in a Criminal proceeding, the burden of proof would be that your act was committed with the intention of causing terror 'beyond a reasonable doubt'. Given your care in crafting this prank, not to violate any rules or regulations, and given your statements of innocent intent - more or less - I would acquit you.

"If, however, I were judging a Civil cause of action at the Bar, that is if Professor Lockhart wanted to press the issue and sought recompense, then the burden of proof is lowered to 'a preponderance of the evidence', generally interpreted as 51% likely or more. I admit, as a Professor and a father, I lean this direction... that knowing all that you do about Professor Lockhart's skill set, or lack thereof, it would have been reasonable to anticipate that this prank would result in the degree of fear you engendered in him. Thus, regardless of the cleverness with which you constructed your trap, I would still hold you liable for the consequences of its use, and sentence you each to an independent essay of 2 feet in length, on Terrorism and its moral implications.

"As it is, my contribution to your consequences this evening is... I hold you blameless. I assign no penalty to your actions, in recognition of the extreme care you took in crafting and executing this plot. Should any of you, however, find that your conscience requires more of you... I will accept the aforesaid essay as an Extra Credit Assignment in History of Magic, after the holiday." So saying, he sat back and looked towards Professor McGonagall. "Madame?"

"Thank you. I, too, while deploring the outcome and not thinking you entirely blameless, do not hold you culpable or subject to punishment for your actions. First, it was not your intention to cause any harm at all. That is not always an adequate excuse from responsibility, as I would hold you liable for outcomes that could be reasonably anticipated by your actions. Still, in this case, I do not consider Professor Lockhart's reaction to have been one that could reasonably be anticipated, even granted his several... erm... limitations, and your familiarity with them.

"Were I to hold you accountable, however," Minerva continued, "I believe I should require an apology, both written and in person, to said professor... for the 'Disruption of His Class'... without reference to any personal reactions on his part. Should your conscience guide you in such a direction, so be it," and she and Pavel turned towards Professor Snape to conclude.

"Very well then," Severus began, in his most ominous voice. "As you all know, ladies and gentlemen, I am a great believer in the rules..."

Which prompted Draco unintentionally to interrupt with an audible sigh and visible roll of his eyes.

"I saw that, Draco," Snape snapped, as he stood and began gradually to walk towards Draco and his corner. "I believe in orderly classroom rules, school rules, family rules, and house rules.

"Therefore, as much as it pains me to do this..." as slowly Severus began to unbutton the front of his robes, bringing Draco near to a panic attack, as this was seldom a good sign, especially in any situation of a corrective nature.

"I find I have absolutely no choice, but to..." as Severus had finished with his buttons, removed his robe, draping it carefully over the back of the couch, as he unbuttoned his shirt cuffs, and continued walking towards Draco's corner...

"award 10 house points to each of you, in recognition of executing an absolutely perfect plot, while honoring EVERY rule, with excellent attention to detail..." as he got to Draco's corner and gave the boy a congratulatory pat on the shoulder, turning to cross his arms as he leaned against the corner of the walls.

"Having said that, I must also admit as to motivation, I find it impossible to condemn these children since I too, consider Lockhart to be an utter git... a prat who doesn't know his own arse from a hole in the ground. Knowing and honoring house rules, therefore, I am prepared to bear my responsibilities..." as he renewed the Tempus over the fireplace.

"Ten minutes, is it, Professor Konstantyn?" Severus asked humbly.

"That one would be at least fifteen, sir," Pavel laughed.

"Very well," Snape bowed, set the Tempus to sixteen minutes, turned to the corner, and planted his nose in it.

The children looked at one another in utter shock, processing what Professor Snape had just said for a long moment, before the entire room erupted in laughter. Sharing another mutual glance, along with a wink, they said, "All in this together..." as they each dashed to give a quick hug around Severus' waist - eliciting some splutters from him that would have matured to a tongue-lashing had he not been restricted to silence at the time, and then each returned to his or her own corner. Draco slid into the corner in front of Snape, facing squarely where he should, as Pavel and Minerva noticed Severus' hands inconspicuously slide up onto Draco's shoulders and give them a comfortable squeeze, as the two of them "did their time" together.

"Well, Minerva, I think I promised you an interesting evening!" as he sat back to sip his tea as John discretely returned all the furniture to its accustomed place.

"That you did, Pavel. That you did. Never a dull moment here, is there?" Minerva laughed.

"Not usually," as he surveyed his very happy home.

* * *

 **A/N** _I hope this was as fun to read, as it was to write. Please tell me what you think! Reviews are always encouraging to read! Grace to you! Mort_


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